As you may, or may not know,
I’m head of X-H, the Youth Group of a German Catholic Church here in my hometown.
"But I, YOOUU?! HOW COME? If you’re like the most blasphemous, foul-mouthed, clown-of-the-class, hard-pAArtying rockstar guy around!!!"
Come ON, that was waaaaaaaaay over the top. I’m just.. Easy-going, sorta cool at times. Riiight. Anyway, don’t prejudge. I do lead a bunch of kids into some values and life lessons, rather than into some fanatic religious point of view. So, because of the Easter Festivities/Spring Break, I haven’t seen or talked to my Group people for a while. Until today, when Sh reached me through IM:
"Hi!"
"Hey hey, what’s up?"
"Nothin’ much. I miss ya, how’ve you been?"
"Tired, work and family issues, but fine…"
"So, the other day I made a list of the Daemons of all the people in X-H"
>Pause. A slight WTF look at my computer screen<
"The what?"
"The Daemons, they’re like the inner animal of each and everyone…"
>An even WTF-er look to the screen<
"Never heard of that"
"…So, you’re an eagle."
>Surprise. Is my brain as tiny as an eagle’s?!<
"Really? And why is that?"
"Lots of things, you have this free spirit… The eagle can be observant either at day or night, and you are. ‘Cause you can see many important details in things that others don’t. Also has this slight air of mystery towards it, just like you. It’s a bird that shows way more confidence than the rest, a symbol of lead and guidance… And other stuff I can’t remember. What do you think?"
I literally went speechless, and worst of all, I think I wasn’t able to let her know enough that it shocked me in some way. Or thank her enough. I have to accept I’ve always underestimated Sh, never felt any kind of important contribution from her. But what the eff, I mean, I’m literally a role-model! Not only for this 14-year-old girl, but to the rest of the group! I mean, as the Head I knew I had to set a good example, blah blah blah, but never had realized that I might be their role-model. Maybe not the only one, but one for sure. Huge responsability.
It’s an amazing feeling to know that you are point of positive comparison or someone people can look up to. Also, it’s totally right to make mistakes, let the ones that are learning from you know about those mistakes, apologize if someone got hurt, make changes, and get the best outta the experience. And I mention this ’cause lately I’ve been having problems with G, she does not trust me anymore. And if as her big brother I keep setting the wrong standards, then I’m screwed. Daaaamn, I swear a moment ago I felt a little dizzy when I took off my polo and catched a glimpse of the little American Eagle embroidery.
